Not myself...

Have you ever gotten the feeling that you’re not yourself? I don’t mean figuratively speaking. Sure there are times when your friends will tell you, “you don’t seem like yourself today,” but have you ever personally woken up one day, and literally felt like you weren’t yourself? Well trust me, you would, if you had the rude awakening that I did this morning.

My eyes spring open as if waking out of a nightmare; only apparently I woke up into a nightmare. Instead of enjoying my normal slumber on my pillow top mattress, I awoke to find myself resting on a cold, steel table. I sprung up to discover that I was not in my bedroom at all; instead it appeared that I was in the county morgue. Could this mean what I think it means?

Is there really such a thing as the living dead? Zombies? That kind of stuff only happens in horror movies, right? I mean people don’t just go on a bender and wake up on the autopsy table! When I finally composed myself, I spotted a computer and decided to start this blog so that maybe some of you could help me get to the bottom of what’s going on.

Here’s what I’ve discovered thus far: my skin is turning purple, and taking on a waxy appearance. I have the chills, and my skin feels like it’s getting colder and colder with every passing minute. The most disturbing part is that as I type this blog, my hands are turning blue, and are tightening up, as if I’m developing arthritis or something. Worst part is I reek something awful!

Please help me figure out what’s happening to me!