Have you ever gotten the feeling that you’re not yourself? I don’t mean figuratively speaking. Sure there are times when your friends will tell you, “you don’t seem like yourself today,” but have you ever personally woken up one day, and literally felt like you weren’t yourself? Well trust me, you would, if you had the rude awakening that I did this morning.
My eyes spring open as if waking out of a nightmare; only apparently I woke up into a nightmare. Instead of enjoying my normal slumber on my pillow top mattress, I awoke to find myself resting on a cold, steel table. I sprung up to discover that I was not in my bedroom at all; instead it appeared that I was in the county morgue. Could this mean what I think it means?
Is there really such a thing as the living dead? Zombies? That kind of stuff only happens in horror movies, right? I mean people don’t just go on a bender and wake up on the autopsy table! When I finally composed myself, I spotted a computer and decided to start this blog so that maybe some of you could help me get to the bottom of what’s going on.
Here’s what I’ve discovered thus far: my skin is turning purple, and taking on a waxy appearance. I have the chills, and my skin feels like it’s getting colder and colder with every passing minute. The most disturbing part is that as I type this blog, my hands are turning blue, and are tightening up, as if I’m developing arthritis or something. Worst part is I reek something awful!
Please help me figure out what’s happening to me!
7 comments:
Would you classify yourself as a Zombie? Do you remember anything that happened to you? What is happening to you now?
weird.
ok...so you can't be dead...right?
you are awake and you have a freakin' blog. no way you're like a zombie...you are way too coherent. Trust me i have seen like a million zombie movies. if you were a zomie, you're brain would be mush and your body would be experiencing super-hero like powers due to your brain being mush and no longer being able to restrict your body of what is "possible".
So dude, i am sorry to say that it sounds like your friends played a really cruel joke on you.
did you get really drunk the night before you wound up in the morgue.
are you a member of a frat?
dooode! Zombies! I LOVE ZOMBIES!
Has anyone seen you yet? Please don't visit me or I will freak the hell out!
Do you do parties? My boyfriends birthday is coming up soon and he LOVES zombies!!
wow, that reminds me of this one time when I also was on quite the bender (don't mix Cocaine, Valium, Jim Beam, Coke, and a splash of cranberry to be exact, which one would call 'the witche's ti-tay'). I awoke quite similarly, although it was a completely leather table and my legs were fastened. a rageing headache was the only cover for a tingling sensation from the waist down. I noticed the my skin had been rubbed raw and was one short red shade from blood. After untying myself, I too found a computer, but instead of blogging, I found a webcam stream from the previous night! oh my! The moral of the story is, if you don't like BBW, beastiality, or having your crotch lit on fire and stamped out, don't do mean things to your roomates like sign them up for the army, or with the jehovah's witnesses, cause you might get some STDS you don't like.
Oh yeah, and crazy skin color changes are a sure sign of herpes.
P.S.- This a what a portion of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were removed.
oh dont worry about it. Thats what I'm like everyday in school, except im not typing a blog when my finger turns blue, im trying to take notes. And for the reeking smell? well, just try to remember to wipe your ass after you use the bathroom the next time. dont worry about it, you'll be fine. You're typing a blog arent you? that has to mean something.
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